The Mars versus Venus duel often comes to the fore between the sheets.
She needs lots of foreplay, while he needs to go for it straightaway. It is one of the common problems faced by couples, and if not tackled with care, this sexual incompatibility inevitably starts affecting relationships at every phase. Also termed ‘discrepant libidos’, it has been observed as the most common cause for dissatisfaction in a relationship.
REASONS FOR INCOMPATIBILITY
Frequency of Sex
The frequency of sexual desire varies from person to person, so much so that both partners’ idea of what is ‘right’ often may not match. The need for frequent sex also depends on the stage in which the relationship is in. The intimacy quotient is at its peak among new lovers. Remember those days when you “just couldn’t get enough of each other”? The passionate phase makes way for the more compassionate love which is more meaningful and satisfying. However, when everyday sex starts fading and one starts hearing more of “not tonight honey”, dissatisfaction is bound to creep in.
Appetite
Each one of us has a different sexual appetite which also varies at different stages of our lives. The partner who has the higher sex drive is most likely to feel rejected and hurt when the desires are not reciprocated. On the other hand, the one with the lower drive can feel pressurised and resentful at having to perform even when he/she doesn’t feel up to it.
Experiments? Maybe
The missionary position works very well among couples in the heydays of their relationship. And then there comes a time when one of the partners wishes to do something ‘different’ in order to break the monotony. If the feeling is not reciprocated, dissatisfaction is bound to occur. Not to forget each one of us harbours fantasies and we expect our partner to comply (in at least some of them), after attaining a certain comfort level with each other. Women, many times, are rather passive during the act, leaving men asking for “more”.
DEALING WITH IT
Woe and win
The one with a stronger sex drive should bear in mind that the discrepancy in appetite is not taken as personal rejection. In such a case, find ways to seduce your partner and bring him/her to a state where he/she feels aroused. Responding to some of the non-sexual cues of the active partner can also help arouse interest.
Explore your partner
The process of enjoying each other sexually is not a rigid one, but one that’s continually changing and flowing. Your partner is the best authority on what is most gratifying to him/ her. Initiate a gentle practice to find out what makes him/her experience maximum pleasure. Thereafter, add those moves to your regular love making session.
Talk, will you?
It is crucial to ‘communicate’ your sexual desires to your partner, albeit in a manner that doesn’t threaten his/her manhood/womanhood. Or else it could be self-defeating. Avoid sounding demanding, critical or accusatory. If lack of experimentation is a problem, reason with your partner as to how moving away from the conventional will lead to enhanced pleasure for him/her as well.
Don’t force
Sexual enjoyment has less to do with ‘mechanical proficiency’ and is more about how two individuals ‘relate’ to each other. Being obsessed with proficiency and trying to develop erotic artistry with a single-minded purpose is more likely to interfere with the enjoyment. Strictly avoid “insisting” with your partner to try newer positions to enhance pleasure.
Imagine shelling out Rs.100,000 for a used towel! A lot of people might, if the towel belonged to a celebrity.
From clothes to cricket bats - Indians are fast opening up to the idea of bidding for celebrity memorabilia online."People have started buying such merchandise nowadays. And there are various reasons to it - some buy them for the resale value of an item, some go for it because they are a fan of the celebrity or some just want to give for charity," Deepa Thomas, senior manager (Pop Culture) at eBay, told IANS.
Thomas says the craze among people for celebrity memorabilia started around 2005. A Salman fan paid as much as Rs.100,000 for his used towel.
Thomas says her company decided to cash in on the demand in 2005 only and the trend is now scaling high.
"The money people are ready to shell out for such memorabilia's depends on how rare the item is and also on the brand power of the celebrity. Between 2005 -2008, ebay has earned Rs.1.8 crore through sale of personalised celebrity auctions and we gave the money for charity," added Thomas.
Kolkata-based Riddhi Nair decided to bid for Olympic gold-medalist Vijender Singh's boxing gloves auctioned on choreographer-director Farah Khan's chat show "Tere Mere Beach Mein" because she was moved by the way his mother brought him up.
She spent Rs.17,800 for the item and says she will treasure it like "heirloom" forever.
"I happened to see the repeat telecast of 'Tere Mere Beach Mein' where Vijender's mother spoke about how she never bought a new sari for herself for a long time so that she doesn't have to compromise on her son's training. It left me very emotional.
"I was touched to see his rising - from a remote village to being a world champion. It's very thought provoking. It is the perfect example for my daughter that she must always do something big in life," said Nair, a 33-year-old housewife.
Another motivation for Nair to bid was that the money will be transferred to Mumbai-based NGO Sneha, which works towards quality nutrition, education and health care of women and children.
Nitin Jain, a 39-year-old investor, bid for Priyanka Chopra's autographed Gavin Maguel designer dress auctioned on Farah's show. He paid Rs.50,000 for the outfit.
Jain says he often bids for items if the proceeds go for charity, but also had a special eye on Priyanka's dress as his 15-year-old daughter is a huge fan of the actress.
"Recently, there were several items that were auctioned on 'Tere Mere Beach Mein' - the chat show on STAR Plus. We had bid for many of them and were, in fact, the second highest bidders for Bipasha Basu's shoes. But my daughter is a Priyanka Chopra fan - so she also wanted it," said Jain, who is based in New Delhi.
Other items sold through the show include Shahid Kapoor's cap for Rs.28,500, Kareena Kapoor's blue dress for Rs.22,300, Yusuf Khan's cricket bat for Rs.60,750, et al.
Selling celebrity memorabilia also makes business sense for celebrities themselves at times, says small screen actor Sachin Sharma, who launched a web portal called sbuy two months ago. TV and movie stars can auction their items through the site.
"There are many celebrities in India who don't get their due. And when they land in tough times and need money, they can turn to such auctions. I had a friend from the industry who wanted to sell his car but wasn't getting the right price from the dealer. But he struck a much better deal with a fan," said Sharma, who was seen in "Kahaani Ghar Ghar Kii".
Sharma's website has already had 300,000 hits in two months, he claims it is evidence to the demand of such items nowadays.
The Mediterranean tan sits pretty on Deepika Padukone who has just returned from Italy where she wrapped up Sajid Nadiadwala’s Housefull with Akshay Kumar.
I was in London, then Italy for the longest time, so I didn’t get to enjoy the success of my last film Love Aaj Kal,” says the pretty South Indian, her large brandy-coloured eyes dancing. She’s clear though that she now has to move on to her next two releases — Kartik Calling Kartik with Farhan Akhtar and Housefull, both of which will come in 2010. Deepika has also signed Pradeep Sarkar’s gritty thriller to be shot on the streets of Mumbai with Neil Nitin Mukesh. “Producer Aditya Chopra had promised me a film right after Bachna ae Haseeno,” she recalls. “I’m glad Adi remembered that.”
For now, she too has made a promise to herself — she’s a girl in love but she will not gush about Ranbir Kapoor. On a recent television show when she was asked to analyse her superstar-boyfriend, Deepika was very pragmatic in her answers. “I know that I was expected to gush about Ranbir,” she smiles. “However, I believe that people who are closest to a person, must always give them a reality check. I’m aware that Ranbir is a superstar. But, I will always be rational when I speak about him.
Deepika, who spent 12 days in Bhopal by her boyfriend’s side where he is shooting for Prakash Jha’s Rajniti with Katrina Kaif, says, “Ranbir and I have been away from each other for long spells because of our individual work schedules. Our career is of prime importance to us. However, I don’t wish to be one of those actors who is so caught up in work that I forget to keep in touch with life. Hence, I make it a point to spend time with him whenever I can. Work definitely makes my world go around but a short break here and there makes life so much more special.
The story goes that she flew to Bhopal just to keep Katrina at bay? “Certainly not,” says Deepika. And, though she is too professional to make any comment on Ranbir’s co-stars, her calm demeanour has a way of signalling that she’s secure in her new-found success. The actress is in a cushy place with a new set of friends like Ayan Mukerji and Vicky Singh, who are common to both Ranbir and her. “I knew Ayan would make a good film when he gave his first narration to Ranbir,” she says. Is she in Vicky’s new film with Ranbir, as is suggested by the trade? “It’s a bit premature to talk about that project,” she says. “Vicky is still undecided on what he wants.
Amitabh Bachchan has never been busier. The Bollywood megastar, who turns 67 on Monday, has three films lined up for release, is hosting a popular television reality show, is to walk the ramp for a top fashion event - and has no plans to retire in the near future.
He says he'll be happy to follow in the footsteps of legendary actor Ashok Kumar, who played strong roles even at the age of 80. "I would disagree that actors of my age don't get important roles to play in movies. Look at Dada Muni (Ashok Kumar)...he was an example. He kept doing important roles even till he was 80 years old," Amitabh
"I can't be playing the lover boy anymore. So I do all those roles that suit a 67-year-old," said the film icon who has completed four decades in the Indian film industry. At his age, Amitabh is one of the busiest actors in tinsel town. The megastar says he had finished shooting for his forthcoming films "Aladin", "Teen Patti" and "Paa" before heading to Singapore for three months.
He is now preparing to sign more projects. "I was away with a friend of mine (Samajwadi Party leader Amar Singh) who had a medical condition and I was out of the country for three months. Since I knew I wanted to be with him and that it would take some period of time for him to heal, I deliberately finished all my pending work by June," Amitabh said.
In all his forthcoming projects, Amitabh will be seen in different avatars. In "Aladin", he will sport overgrown locks for the role of a contemporary genie, "Paa" will see him playing a child suffering from progeria, which causes premature ageing, and "Teen Patti" features him as a mathematics genius.
While "Aladin" will hit screens Oct 30, "Paa" will release Dec 4 and "Teen Patti", which also stars Hollywood legend Ben Kingsley, will open to audiences Feb 12 next year. Till then, Amitabh is making his presence felt on the small screen after three years as the host of Colors' reality show "Bigg Boss", which has celebrities staying inside a specially designed house under constant camera surveillance and no contact with the outside world.
"'Bigg Boss' was the first thing I took up (after returning from Singapore). There are many people who want to make a film with me fortunately, so I will now talk to them," he said. The actor is also fairing well in the ad world as he emerged among the top five Indian celebrity brand endorsers in a recently conducted survey. And he is also set to scorch the fashion runway at the HDIL India Couture Week on his birthday. He will display a creation by his favourite designer duo Abu Jani-Sandeep Khosla. told IANS.
Charles Kao, Willard Boyle and George Smith won the 2009 Nobel Physics Prize on Tuesday for pioneering "masters of light" work on fibre optics and semiconductors, the Nobel jury said.
The Hong Kong-based expert Kao and his two American counterparts were hailed for creating the two tools that helped unleash the Information Technology revolution of today.
"This year's Nobel Prize in Physics is awarded for two scientific achievements that have helped to shape the foundations of today's networked societies.
"They have created many practical innovations for everyday life and provided new tools for scientific exploration," it said.
One of them is the fibre-optic cable, which enables transmission of data at the speed of light, the Nobel jury said.
Kao, who has British nationality but has been based in Hong Kong, was awarded half of the prize for "groundbreaking achievements concerning the transmission of light in fibers for optical communication," it said.
"If we were to unravel all of the glass fibres that wind around the globe, we would get a single thread over one billion kilometres (600 million miles) long -- which is enough to encircle the globe more than 25,000 times -- and is increasing by thousands of kilometres (miles) every hour," it said.
Kao's discovery means that "text, music, images and video can be transferred around the globe in a split second," the jury said.
Boyle and Smith shared the other half of the prize for "the invention of an imaging semiconductor circuit -- the CCD sensor," or the charge-coupled device, which is the "electronic eye" of the digital camera.
The CCD sensor, invented in 1969, "revolutioniseded photography, as light could be now captured electronically instead of on film."
CCD technology is also used in many medical applications, such as imaging the inside of the human body, both for diagnostics and for microsurgery.
Last year, the prize went to Makoto Kobayashi and Toshihide Maskawa of Japan and Yoichiro Nambu of the United States for groundbreaking theoretical work on fundamental particles called quarks.
On Monday, Australian-American scientist Elizabeth Blackburn and Carol Greider and Jack Szostak of the United States won the Nobel Medicine Prize for identifying a key molecular switch in cellular ageing.
The Chemistry Prize laureates will be named on Wednesday, followed by the Literature Prize on Thursday and the Peace Prize on Friday. The Economics Prize will wrap up the awards on Monday, October 12.
The Nobel prizes, founded by Swedish industrialist Alfred Nobel, were first awarded in 1901.
Nobel, the inventor of dynamite, died childless in 1896, dedicating his vast fortune to create "prizes to those who, during the preceding year, shall have conferred the greatest benefit on mankind."
Laureates receive a gold medal, a diploma and 10 million Swedish kronor (1.42 million dollars, 980,000 euros) which can be split between up to three winners per prize.
The formal awarding of the prizes will take place at gala ceremonies in Stockholm and Oslo on December 10.
Andhra Pradesh has estimated damages due to heavy rains and floods at Rs 12,225 crore.
In a letter to Prime Minister Manmohan Singh on Monday, Chief Minister K Rosaiah urged the Centre to consider the devastating floods a national calamity and provide the state with Rs 6,000 crore for relief works immediately.
Highlighting the severity of the flood situation in the state, Rosaiah said some mandals in the districts of Mahabubnagar and Kurnool had rainfall of over 30 cm in a day, leading to heavy inflows into major dams in the Krishna basin viz. Srisailam, Nagarjuna Sagar, Prakasam Barrage and others.
The inflow at Srisailam was over 25 lakh cusecs when the floods started - the highest in 100 years and way beyond the full reservoir level. The first casualty was a 770 MW power house next to the dam, which was completely inundated.
After spending nearly four months in prison, Bollywood actor Shiney Ahuja has been granted bail today. The actor who was in prison for the alleged rape of his 19-year old housemaid will have to pay a sum of Rs 50000. Besides the bail money, the star will also have to abide by the Bombay High Court’s order to stay in Delhi and surrender his passport.
Even though the actor has been granted bail it will take a couple of days till he gets released. The court’s decision came after an intense three-day hearing wherein Shiney’s lawyer presented several reasons for the actor’s immediate release.
Besides the negative DNA report, Shiney’s failing health was some of the reasons on which his lawyer stressed upon. After his release Shiney will have to move to Delhi as that is his original place of residence and will have to make necessary visits to the police station nearest to his home in the capital.
Talking to media, Shiney's wife Anupam Ahuja said, "From day one we have maintained that Shiney is innocent. Our faith in the judiciary is reaffirmed. I am glad to have Shiney back home."
As to whether the actor can continue acting in films is not known. The 36-year-old actor was seen crying and wincing in pain when he was produced in a Mumbai Court earlier this week .
Ahuja, who was unable to walk, was assisted into the courtroom by two constables. He was later brought outside and made to sit on a bench where he lied down, quivering. Following this his lawyer Sameer Nagre moved an application seeking medical treatment at the earliest.
